Inuyasha: Off Scene
by Terminate My Existance
Summary: The title says it all. Okay, that really sucked, but I think that the actual story is better. That was my feeble attempt at humor, it really sucked. R&R And now I turned the second and last chappy into crack!
1. Chapter 1

**Inuyasha: Off scene!**

This will be done in a script format okay people? Oh and the - means they are doing that, you know that represents an action. And 1  means that down at the bottom I will tell you all why it is there.

And if before a person like man, woman, man 1 has a (?) before their title it means that later on you learn their true identity.

And on to the story thingy!

P.S. I love Sesshy so that means that I must love torturing him.

On set

Producer: Okay "Kikyo" you're needed on set!

-A slim yet muscular man comes out of a dressing room, dressed in the traditional red and white miko clothing.-

(?) Man: Why am I doing this?

Producer: Because, the real Kikyo walked out on us for some reason, and you're the only one who looks the most like her, well besides Kagome of course but do you remember what happened the last time that we asked her for something?

-Both start shivering-

(?) Man: Fine but why not use that black haired intern of yours?

Producer: Because, I couldn't pass this chance up -giggles- What's one plus one? 1

(?) Man: Two? 1

Producer: -Pulls out a camera and then a flash goes off- Nice! I am so putting this on the Internet!

(?) Man: Oh no your not! -Runs up and punches producer in the stomach-

Producer: Oh fine -hands him the camera- No one would want to see Sesshomaru in this thing anyway. I mean dude, shave your legs!

(Sesshy) Man: Why you little! -Runs up and kicks producer in the face-

Producer: Security, Security!

-Security comes out and drags away a screaming and kicking Sesshomaru-

BACKSTAGE

Kagome:- Talking on cell-phone- Hello

Kikyo: -Also on cell-phone, somewhere else, far away- Its Kikyo

Kagome: Oh, hey

Kikyo: Did you hear what Naraku did?

Kagome: Yeah I did, he really shouldn't have. I mean he really needs some help if he's doing these things.

Kikyo: I know, that's what I say, but could you put him on the phone so I can try to talk some sense into him? Or try to kill him over the phone.

Kagome: Sure. -Holds phone to chest- NARAKU!

-Naraku pops head out from behind a corner-

Naraku: Yes? -Whimpers slightly-

Kagome: Kikyo wants to talk to you.

Naraku: perks up Okay!

-Kagome hands him the phone-

Kikyo: WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT!

Naraku: Do what?

Kikyo:- muttered under breath- Deep breathing, remember that's what the physiatrist said, Deep breathing. -Back to normal- Leave that love not outside of my dressing room door, plague me with phone calls day and night and leave messages taped to my WINDOWS! Any of those sound familiar?

Naraku: -said in that sickly sweet voice, the one you use when you are obviously lying.- No not at all, Oh I feel so sorry for you. I mean having someone stalk you like that; it must be so frightening I would certainly be frightened. Why if you feel scared I would be happy, no no I'd be honored, to protect you from this stalker. I'll meet you at around say eight at the coffee shop right outside your house?

Kikyo: Nice try, but I know what you did. There are plenty of clues you left like, on the first note where the "signed anonymous" place is, you can clearly see that you originally wrote Love Naraku. Other clues you left was that you failed to notice these two things one, I never told you my address where I live or that there was a coffee shop across from it, and two I can see out my windows at night! I saw you put that note there, and then go to the coffee shop across the street.

Naraku: Oh crap you did! I mean, whatever do you mean? I would never do something as atrocious as that!

Kikyo: Right, then why did you start off your sentence with "Oh crap you did!"

Naraku: Ermm, just a slip of the tongue. Oh who the hell am I kidding, yeah it was me who did that stuff, but I was only doing that to get you all romantic-ied up so I could tell you that it was me and then you would go out with me.

Kikyo: Okay, I understand where you're coming from but I prefer it if the person just comes right out with it, I hate to be left to guessing.

Naraku: So does that mean that you'll go out with me now that I've told you?

Kikyo: No.

Naraku: But why?

Kikyo: Because, I don't like you. -Hangs up phone-

-Naraku hands back the phone to Kagome-

Naraku: Here you go.

Kagome: Thanks, and I hope that it works out for you in the whole love department.

Naraku: Does that mean that you'll…

Kagome: NO!

-Naraku walks off mumbling under his breath while Kagome puts her cell-phone into her pocket-

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1. I got that from Fruits Basket (Furuba), Hatori comes up on the roof of the school with Momiji, where Kyo, Tohru, and Yuki (in a dress) are. He asks kyo and Yuki to stand together and then he asks them "what's one plus one?" and they answer two, that's when he whips out a camera and takes a picture. I don't know why, but I thought that I'd use it.

A/N

Okay people, the next chappy will be up hmm, lets see, umm in a week, so it'll be up on 10/08/06

Oh and I am so Happy! My Internet wasn't working for a looooooooooooooooooong time. I practically died without it!

Flames are accepted but not wanted. If they are pointless then I will post them in the next chapter for entertainment purposes.

If you want to poke me with a pointy object then buy them outside of my house.


	2. Chapter 2

Inuyasha off scene

Thanks to all of those who reviewed. () Huggles to you!

Now for the disclaimer

Me: Do the disclaimer, OR DIE

Ghostie thingy: (0.o) Meep Okay, penginyasha does not own Inuyasha, if she did would she really be doing this?

Me: Good, now heres your cookie

Ghostie thingy: ( o) Wo00t cookie!

FavouriteKitten: Thank you for telling me that! I thought that it was something along those lines but I wasn't sure so I didn't put it down. I was also too lazy to search it!

-Voice over intercom says "Were sorry to say but last night producer –enter name here- was found dead in his room. They think it was a drug overdose due to the two small punctures on his stomach. He was found dead at his computer at 12 midnight. On his computer there were certain… Disturbing…. Pictures of a man in a red and white outfit. A man with silver hair…who looked extremely like lord sesshomaru….but it couldn't be, could it? Oh well! He was apparently trying to upload them when he died. The funeral service will be held on October 31rst, due to his insane obsession with Halloween." Then screeches off-

Kagome: Oh my god!

Inuyasha: Whaaa..

Kikyo: -GASP-

Sesshy: Heh –smirks-

Shippo: WAHHHHHH

Sango: oh no –chokes back tears-

Miroku: -goes towards Sango- Here, here my precious flower let me console you. –hugs her-

Sango: -Hugs back-

Miroku: -Grabs butt-

Sango: -Slaps him and shouts "PERVERT"-

Miroku: Aaah it was worth it.

Sango: -turns and leaves-

- Everyone had been watching the whole time and is now looking straight at Miroku-

Miroku: What?

Inuyasha: How come you're acting all… normal?

Miroku: Would you rather that I bawl my eyes out like a baby?

Inuyasha: No but. I mean you act as if you have no emotions

Miroku: How many times must I tell you all this, whispers I'm really a ninja, 'member? And a ninja must never ever show emotions.

Kagome: -Puts her hands over his mouth- SHHH! Shippo is still to young to know that! Don't talk like that around him!

Shippo: Know about what? –jumps up and down-

Kagome: NOTHING!

Shippo: -gets all small and scared- Okay. –Runs out of the room and onto the nearest train home-

Inuyasha: Wait, why can't he know about ninjas?

Kagome: BECAUSE I'M THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!!!

Inuyasha: Sprinkle me with happy crack!!!

Miroku: Silly, that's not what the tooth fairy does, duh. She sprinkles you with donut dust!

Kagome: Donuts, WHERE!!!?

Miroku: Right over there! points towards the refreshment table

Inuyasha: No way!

Miroku: Way!

Suddenly, Kikyo is in the room with them

Kikyo: Silly mortals, I am the true-

None of them notice her and they all go to the refreshment table

Kikyo: Oh well, can't beat 'em, join 'em!

Kikyo goes over to the refreshment table

Naraku pokes his slimy little head out from behind the nearest hallway thingy

Naraku: I'm gonna catch you, you wascawwy wabbit!

Kikyo: But it's purple season!

Naraku: Oh, well then, ……

Naraku: OOOH DONUTS!!!

Then out of no-where, the very train that Shippo had been riding in is suddenly ripped from it's tracks and thrown into the studio building…It immediately blows up, blowing up everyone and everything in a twelve minute range. Every one dies.

And the moral of this story is……Never butter your toast with a pillow.

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(A/N)

I am sorry that I might have left some of you wanting more, but I kinda fell away from this, but I felt obligated to finish one last chapter before I killed them all/ finished the story. The story is now over, but I thank all of you that reviewed

ahem

Thank you…..

FavouriteKitten

meowsa-of-DOOM

PaddySnuffles

Oh wow,….is that all….I feel so unloved…so very unloved..


End file.
